My Son and I

What’s in a story that grabs your attention and won’t let it go? Is it drama, action, intrigue, or someone else’s rebellion? Perhaps it’s comedy, romance, or war? Who knows why we as people are such an interesting bunch, but we are. My son is one of those interesting people with a story. He’s one of those prodigal son stories minus the inheritance up front.

As my son grew up, he wanted nothing more than to move from the grade school era into the junior high bunch. He wanted out of childhood, why, I don’t know? He was a fun kid that always wanted to hang with big kids. At church he wanted a way into the “youth group.” He was already going to most of their activities, though they weren’t many. Why? My wife and I were the volunteer youth-leader/ pastors. So, he just got to ride along and have fun.

Wednesday’s kid’s group was “too childish” for him, or so he thought. And, he wanted to move up! Well, eventually he did, and then rebellion set in. I don’t know why I didn’t see the early signs and seeds. I don’t know why we went down a road so filled with pot holes that you couldn’t go around them; you had to go through them. Why really doesn’t matter.  For our Fathers hand guides the path of His children and His word is the light for that path (Ps 119 all of it!).

I’m distracted now, so I’ll get back to my son in a minute or so. Read all of Psalm 119 in one sitting and it’ll ware you out its long! But, if you do, pray along the way, and meditate on the words; of you do you can see things you never would. Especially think on how David closes out this huge Psalm. David over and over again tells us how beneficial God’s word is and how he (David) has set God’s word in His heart that He might not sin against God. But then David goes back and forth; why, because he does sin against God, even though God’s word is there urging him not to sin. Ultimately, David just cries out for mercy. Read the “Taw” ending verses of this acrostic Psalm. After all David’s praises of the merits of the laws and commands of God, he ends with this:

“I have strayed like a lost sheep.
    Seek your servant,
    for I have not forgotten your commands.”

   Psalm 119:176 NIV

Though knowing the goodness of God’s love and God’s commands, David, “strayed like a lost sheep.” Well, my son did too. I could tell plenty of my own story and its wayward moments, but this is not about me.  But, I will say this. What I did in small, he did in large. I was passively rebellious, he was direct. That’s enough to set the picture.

At twelve my sweet little boy rocked my world by stealing our van and running off with an older girl! As extreme as this event was, it was the beginning of sorrows. How could this happen! How could I have been so blind!

Was I too busy with work, study preparations, and activities that I just missed it? Yes, but I didn’t know it. Why? I had just had my first major back surgery, was going to school full-time, and working. My work consisted of being a group-home councilor for troubled teens and operating a vending machine business. This was not to mention our time involved with the church youth kids and oh yeah, being a parent. It seemed I let that one slip through the cracks. Add to that an ever increasing usage of opiates to keep up with an ever growing pain helped set a stage for disaster.

Well, I created Frankenstein and didn’t know it. Combined together my son and I wore our family apart. Yet, by the grace of God, it survives and will one day one again thrive.

Simple right? Everyone has one of these stories right? I’m finding out more and more some do and some don’t. Some problems we create in this life, others we’re born into.  Time would escape me to go into all the tragic episodes that resulted from my son’s prodigal experience. I made huge mistakes that drove my son that away and didn’t even know it. And, it was not for a lack of understanding God’s word and trying to live out God’s word. Some might say, well it was hidden sin, or something like that. Well, I’m sure I sinned plenty and repented plenty. I provoked my son severely and lead him to discouragement, something fathers are warned not to do. But this was after he was heading down the wrong road, not before it.

Before all these mistakes, I made a fatal one. We, my wife and children and I took in a foster child. Yeah, we though we were doing right. We prayed, at least I did. We asked our pastors. We even took our time. Our family took in an older teen that ended up without a family--even a foster one--by chance or was it chance? I don’t know any of that, but I know James says tells us true and undefiled religion takes care of orphans and widows, in their time of need.

But the problem was that the child was older than ours. He had more baggage than ours, at least at that point. And the teen had too much influence over our child and I didn’t realize it. It took hind sight to reveal that. But, regardless soon events spiraled out of control and my prodigal, God’s prodigal was wallowing in a pig pen. Details don’t matter save one. Like the prodigal of Jesus story, he came back! Yes to our family and more importantly, to the family of God. He became my brother in Christ, not just my son.

He came to mind tonight because his birthday’s coming again!

“I can have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.”  3 John 1:4 NLV


I may write a part 2 about my son and his transformation. It's publication here will need his approval. I cut to the end too soon.

It will be a while.