A gray day happened today,
fortunately, it was just the sky. Chilly damp air and gray sky, I think I’d
rather have rain. But we don’t order weather like pizza (God forbid if one day
man has that kind of power!). No, we may see it coming on a Doppler screen, but
that’s about it. Sure, if it were a flood or tornado or something disastrous we
might prepare, but this? This is only winter/Christmas break blahs, multiplied
since the children drove to another state. But what if it were more than the
weather? What if it was life’s gray, a dreaded “depression?” I’m not talking
economics, I’m talking emotionally. What is a Christian to do?
Right off the bat I’m not
claiming to give medical advice or anything like that. I’m not even claiming to
be a faith healer, though I know God can and does heal. If we're sick James
tells us to call the elders, confess sin, anoint with oil, and the prayer of
faith will heal the sick, and it does! But, it is not a guarantee and read about Job or Paul if you think believers don’t have bad things happen to them. I rains on the just
and unjust, life happens!
The regular Christian things we
do keep doing; especially when feeling down. You know pray and read your bible.
Yep, that’s talking to and listening to God. That’s not to limit God and say He
can’t communicate to us in some other way, but this is the primary way. However, if you're like me, I need Jesus with hands and feet. That means fellowship is in order. Not with the
world, and not even with Christians doing common stuff—secular things—though
simple relaxation is fine, it’s just not all of what is needed at those
depressed moments. No in moments when I’m this low, I need a brother in Christ
to talk to who knows and understands me; these are rare gems. I hope you have
one. The absolute worst thing you can do if you are suffering in or from
depression is to isolate and shut down. I know because living with chronic pain
has brought me there over and over again.
In these times when I've had
to look up to see the bottom, I tried isolation and shutting down. This makes life seem hardly worth the time. I had one of those moments a
while back. About two years ago, I walked down my dark curvy road one night. I
was taking a moonlight walk for my little Rusty dog to do his business and for
me to get some exercise, which helps with pain and mood. Our road is quiet, in the
country, and has a dead end on it. Traffic, if any is light and you can hear
cars coming from a long ways away. Sometimes though, I wear headphones to listen
to music and even then I can still see the headlights coming from the cars.
This particular night stands
out though I've walked that same road many times. I was under my shoe looking
up kind of depressed that night. And, honestly I just wanted to go home—I’m talkin' heaven. I believe suicide is absolutely wrong and never consider it an
option, human life is God’s prerogative. But, honestly I didn't care if I died,
in fact I oft’ hoped to. Feeling like this set my nights stage.
In just short while Rusty and
I approached the first curve. I, like always, walked toward oncoming traffic,
to see them of course! I heard a car and saw the lights. We went to the
opposite side. A car was speeding, which makes me mad on our, no my road! (Though I’m
guilty of this too when in a hurry.) I had crossed well over on the opposite side
for the car to pass freely, but that wasn't enough! In a fraction of a second
these events were taking place. I had moved only a few feet pasted the white
line, into supposed safety. Then the car came across the line. In a millisecond I angered and stood my ground! Would I finally get my chance to see
Jesus, like this? No, of course not I’m writing this. Still, with that car
inches away, though angry, I wanted to go home!
Why am I writing this, mostly
for me? Perhaps it is only for me to let the words escape my thoughts. Perhaps
it’s only because I walked that same road tonight, with Rusty no less and did
it safely. But, perhaps as you and I know happens, God wishes to let someone know He’s
still there and He sees you where you’re at. And, He loves you right there.
David in the bible went
through these emotional roller coasters his whole life. Where they simply in
his mind or reactions to painful circumstances, I don’t know. I know he learned
to trust God enough to kill lions, bears, Goliath, Philistines by the boat
load, and other enemies of God. But, David—the LORD’s anointed—had to run for
his life multiple times, he hides in caves, and still in doing so had to fight
with emotions that overwhelmed.
How did David deal with this
pressure? He wrote and sang songs, new songs to our Lord. And we have their
benefit of hindsight. Over and over David would be despondent about something.
He would lay his complaint out to the Lord. Then He would begin to praise God
for His attributes and would end in jubilant worship.
Here are a couple examples, one from David and one other Psalmist. These are perhaps the most obvious, many more are there too. God knew we needed to know what to do with emotions, Psalms provides examples.
Psalm 42 NIV
As
the deer pants
for streams of water,
so
my soul pants for
you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living
God.
When
can I go and
meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
day
and night,
while men say to me all day long,
“Where
is your God?”
4 These things I remember
as
I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading
the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and
thanksgiving
among
the festive throng.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why
so disturbed within
me?
Put your hope in God,
for
I will yet praise him,
my
Savior and 6 my
God.
My[c] soul is downcast within
me;
therefore
I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the
heights of Hermon—from Mount
Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
in
the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have
swept over me.
8 By day the Lord directs his love,
at
night his
song is
with me—
a
prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
“Why
have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My
bones suffer mortal agony
as
my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
“Where
is your God?”
11 Why are you downcast, O
my soul?
Why
so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for
I will yet praise him,
my
Savior and my God.
Psalm 55 NIV
Listen
to my prayer, O God,
do
not ignore my plea;
2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
3 at the voice of the
enemy,
at
the stares of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering upon me
and
revile me
in their anger.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the
terrors of
death assail me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, “Oh, that I had
the wings of a dove!
I
would fly away and be at rest—
7 I would flee far away
and
stay in the desert; Selah
8 I would hurry to my
place of shelter,
far
from the tempest and storm.”
9 Confuse the wicked, O
Lord, confound their speech,
for
I see violence and strife in
the city.
10 Day
and night they prowl about
on its walls;
malice
and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive
forces are
at work in the city;
threats
and lies never
leave its streets.
12 If an enemy were
insulting me,
I
could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I
could hide from him.
13 But
it is you, a man like myself,
my
companion, my close friend,
14 with
whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as
we walked with the throng at the house of God.
15 Let death take my
enemies by surprise;
let
them go down alive to the grave,[b]
for
evil finds lodging among them.
16 But I call to God,
and
the Lord saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I
cry out in distress,
and
he hears my voice.
18 He
ransoms me unharmed
from
the battle waged against me,
even
though many oppose me.
19 God,
who is enthroned forever,
will
hear them
and afflict them— Selah
men who never change their ways
and
have no fear of God.
20 My companion attacks
his friends;
he
violates his covenant.
21 His
speech is smooth as butter,
yet
war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet
they are drawn swords.
22 Cast your cares on the Lord
and
he will sustain you;
he
will never let the righteous fall.
23 But
you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into
the pit of
corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will
not live out half their days.
But
as for me, I trust in you.